I'm weird.
I know that's not really news to any of you all... but let me tell you what brings up the topic this week. I've always kind of known this, but have really begun to realize in the last few weeks that I have serious issues with letting people go.
It seems that old friends, former coworkers, random people who have come in and out of my life, and even exes (to a smaller extent) are rather continuously on my mind. I'm always wondering what these people are up to... or why I've lost touch with them... or what kind of jobs they're doing now... or what would happen if I ran into them... or why we don't seem to have been good enough friends or acquaintances to actually keep in touch and whether that's my fault or theirs or both.
Here's a few examples of how this haunts me:
1) I frequently google people's names just to see if I can figure out what they're up to or if they're at least still alive.
2) I've searched facebook and myspace for all kinds of random people for the same reason. I still may or may not add them as friend cuz I never know if they would even remember me. They may, for all I know, think it kinda creepy that I even remember them.
3) One of my former coworkers from job #3 after college, I've just recently heard as a dj on one of my fav radio stations and I was SOOOO excited just to discover that he was still out there. (I keep thinking I should email him at the station just to say "hello"... but again... just feel it might be weird to do so.)
4) I recently found a coworker from job #2 after college by searching for her son, because I figured he probably had a facebook account being in that age bracket. I actually emailed her son who I knew verly slightly when I worked with her. Turns out she'd (according to a return email from him ) love to get in touch with me again and I now have her phone number. I just have to muster the guts to call **due to my serious phone-a-phobia**
5) I still worry about a bunch of the guys I dated in college and hope they're doing okay.
6) It randomly upsets me that no matter how close I thought I was to most of my high school friends back in the day and how much I thought I'd be friends with them forever, I'm not really close to any of them anymore *save one or two* (other than blogging or random weddings or baby showers.)
7) I promised my boss at job #4 after college that I'd not lose touch and that I'd randomly call or pop in. That has happened approximately 2 times since I left that job... I suck at that.
8) For those of you that know the Iowa boy story, he's still someone who I feel like I should be in more constant contact with, but we just can't ever seem to have any regularity of emailing or talking without some sort of strange drama involved in it. This bugs me.
Hmmm... seriously, I think this must be some sort of pychological disorder. Should I really be that invested in people who I haven't seen in 2 years or more?
I think the major causes of this disorder is that I have this weird idea in my head that God puts people in my life for a reason, and I'm always wondering if I learned everything I was suppose to from them or vice versa.
What do you think?