fur meinen leibe
Andrew sprecht gern deutsch. Er ist lustig. Heute bringt er ein buch auf deutsch fur Mia von bibliothek. Es ist das ende weil es schwer zu schreiben deutsch ist.
Gracias.**Disclaimer** My husband helped me write this and I DO NOT KNOW GERMAN... so if it butchered, I apologize to any german-speakers who may be offended. :)PS I tried to write the same thing in Spanish and found that I had forgotten most of what I've learned. So much for 2 semesters of college Spanish!!!
Thanks be to God.
I'm back and I'm feeling SO MUCH BETTER. The retreat this weekend was just exactly what I needed. It was fabulous to have a little time to get back on track with my spiritual life and to just try to figure out why I've been so out of sorts lately.
Here was my "ah ha" moment of the weekend:
[begin"ah ha" moment]"I realized that three years ago, I was living in a super awesome Christ-filled house, with some super awesome Christ-filled roommates, and tons of super awesome Christ-filled friends and nothing really to fret about other than my rather awful job and the fact that I was busy with ministry stuff all the time (like chaperoning the M4L, or volunteering for Sojourn, or being on the YAM board, or travelling to the National Catholic Singles Conference). But notice what all of those things have in common... they are things I CHOSE to be involved with... and they are also things that I could STOP being involved with. On top of all that I was going to daily Mass (or mostly daily at least), and adoration, and praying with my roommies, and we had weekly rosary night... and had just all sorts of opportunities for spiritual growth not to mention the large amount of evangelization-type discussions that I had with my coworkers at the time.
Then came February 28th, 2005 when I went on my first date with Andrew. Slowly but surely life with a boyfriend starting making those other things look not as important. Then I got a less-awful job but I was working 50 hours a week which lent even LESS time to the spiritual stuff. Then Andrew and I were engaged in July 2005... so wedding planning took precedence over other stuff... then came the wedding... and suddenly we were pregnant... and POOF there was Mia... and new parenthood... and moving... and phew... it tires me just thinking about it."
[end "ah ha moment"]
Well needless to say... where I was spiritually 3 years ago is soooooo very far from where I am spiritually now. And it took this weekend for me to have enough time to stop and really figure out why. And it was kind of a "DUH" thing when I realized that my life is 180 degrees different than it was back then. My obligations now, though they are still choices I have made, are no longer optional. I AM A WIFE. I AM A MOTHER. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR PEOPLE OTHER THAN MYSELF. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRAY WHILST BEING ALL OF THOSE THINGS.
But after 5 conferences, lots of prayer, some silliness and a good heart-to-heart chat with our retreat leader Fr. Shane Tharp, the coolest young adult priest in all of the OKC diocese, I finally feel like I have a direction to move in order to regain that relationship I once had with God. And it's such a huge weight off my shoulders because I am already seeing the fruits of having that prayer life back just a little. I sooooo missed the joy that comes with spending time with Him and now it's welling up inside again. Thanks be to God.And thanks also too all of you who had such kind words after my last post. It's good to know I'm not alone... and it's great to know that still I have friends even though life is SO different now.
Fill 'er up!
Remember back in the dizzay when you (or perhaps your parent) would drive up to the gas pump, and some nice (or sometimes scary) looking man would come bee-bopping over to talk... and you'd say "FILL 'ER UP" and you'd never have to get out of your car to get gas?
Yeah... well, that's not really what this blog is about. Except maybe metaphorically speaking.
I am in desperate need of a fill up. Maybe it's mommyhood... maybe it's lack of sleep... maybe it's finally hitting that "almost married 2 years" mark... or maybe it's just a teeny case of depression, but I'm feeling rather empty these days. Life is going well... and things are mostly good, but inside my head looking out, it all looks a bit sad and boring. I need a fill up to go back to being my normal, silly, happy self.
This weekend I'm going on a retreat in hopes of rekindling some of that old me.
This retreat is my way of saying to God that I'm pulling up to the station... can you please just "Fill 'er up?"
A Different Perspective.
Well, Andrew and I just finished watching the debates on ABC. After their conclusion I made a statement that the me of 3 years ago would definitely not have made. I'm not ready to disclose that statement, but I'll just say it was much more liberal than anything this blog has ever said.
What has happened?
All of the sudden (...that's not completely true as it's been changing ever since I met Andrew...) I've become a lover of political debates. A connoisseur of candidates. I thirst for knowledge on what these people think about major issues... and those issues go so far past what I thought they were three years ago that I feel sorry for my former self.
I think it's fairly obvious that the hot-button issue for me has always been abortion. And there's a lot of other social issues that divided me from the democratic party.
But now... I'm beginning to wonder if these "social" issues are just a way of distracting people from being the democracy that we should be. Think about it. Republicans have been fighting Roe V. Wade since it was passed in the EARLY 70's. If they were to reverse it (which they haven't in 30 years), why would anyone continue to vote for them? Don't they tend to pander to the richey rich of the society? Are the poor... or for that matter... the middle class even on their radars as people who need a leader who will help them???!!!
And wouldn't the legalization of abortion be a moot point if we could heal the culture that sends it's young girls to the legalized murder mills anyways? Let's eradicate poverty. Let's increase education. Let's support one another and become a nation of people who care about one another instead of live in fear of one another. Why not eradicate the NEED for abortion instead of outlawing it?
Don't even get me started on healthcare... do you know that Andrew and I have had to shell out like $5000 OUT OF POCKET for having a baby last February? That's on top of what insurance paid. What the heck is insurance for anyways when we're having to use like 10-15% of our yearly income on medical expenses??? And on top of that we're still paying into the stupid insurance companies with each paycheck. DUMB. (By the way, we watched SICKO last night and despite your opinions on Michael Moore, you should DEFINITELY see the movie).
Sigh... you wouldn't think I was so fired up about all these things by reading my blog lately. Where have the debates been? Where has the excitement been? Where have my passions gone? Well... for the good or the bad, they seem to be changing dramatically. And I've decided I either need all of y'all who used to argue with me to bring me back or all of y'all that used to argue against me to cheer me on.
The delirium has returned.
Three Great Wins yesterday...
OBAMA, HUCKABEE & KU.
I AM SO SUPER PUMPED ABOUT ELECTION YEAR 2008.
The last 13 days... very quickly
Andrew's family Christmas. Mia opening presents. Very neat. New super-fab toaster and lots of chocolate. No bake cookies. Wahoo.
My family Christmas. Arguments about the turnpike. Time with Joe. Card playing. Mia is crazy and cute. Yelling at Joe. Christmas Eve Mass at Emerald with Mia asleep in Grandma's arms, Candy Canes and better-than-usual Choir.
Kimmy coming home. Lunch on Friday with my Daisies and Andrew and Jim and Mia. Convent stories. Video letter watching. Tacos.
Trip to Independence. Saw Andrew's old farm... and schools... and workplaces... and friends... and playgrounds. Kathy's wedding. Cranky baby at reception. Cranky husband at reception. Cranky me because of cranky them. Early departure from reception. Morning breakfast at the hotel with all of our friends. Wonderful scenic drive home.
New Years Eve with EGD. Sick husband. Too tired baby. Lots of fun and hugs. Kimmy. Alcohol. Food food and more food. Babies babies everywhere. Pictures and videos with the digi cam. Moodiness with a CAPITAL M. Saying goodbye to Kimmy again and having a wonderful daisy girl hug to end the night.