A Farewell to Erma
We said goodbye to Erma on Thursday. After 5 months of sitting in our apartment complex parking lot filled with items we were going to someday take to Goodwill - functioning more as a storage bin than a car- we decided it was time to let her go. So for the bargain price of $135, we gave her to the local junkyard. Goodbye dear 1992 Chevy Cavalier. This is an ode to you:
Dear sweet Erma.
How good you were to me.
You got me through college...
To KU and home
With merely a turnpike fee.
Dear sweet Erma.
Remember when your seats were cow?
As we drove over bumps
In parking lots for the last 6 years,
You always seemed to growl.
Dear sweet Erma.
How did it come to be...
that three years ago, on hot days
with no snow,
you began to poison me.
Dear sweet Erma.
Life without you will not be the same.
Little Tobie will do,
And I know that it's true
That it will be awhile before he goes lame.
Dear. Sweet. Erma.
Hmm... it's definitely not my best, but it's a Saturday afternoon and I just woke up from a nap so sue me. If you have any memories of the fun we've had in Erma, feel free to share them on my posts.
A Weekend of Respite
First I want to send a GREAT BIG GIANT HUG AND THANK YOU to Tom and Kim for letting my little family come chill out at their place this weekend. Upon reading my "Transition" blog from a few weeks ago, my sweet SNL Kimmy invited Andrew and Mia and I up for a weekend away, and since the cutest niece in the world ever Avery is up there, we didn't have to pack too intensively for our visit. Bonus!
So thanks a million for our 22 hours of respite at your beautiful new house. It was nice to get our little girls together for some play time, and even nicer to have a little adult time while they kept each other occupied. You guys rock!
Secondly, yesterday afternoon after a LONG 5-hour car ride home (yes, it DOES take 5 hours from the East side of Kansas City to the East side of Wichita if you have an 8 month old in tow and your husband insists that he gets better gas mileage driving 60 mph), we went to the Young adult Mass and Dinner with the Bishop. Mass at the Cathedral was very nice, but what stuck out to me most was our discussion with Bish during the dinner. He came over to our table where we sat with about 6 of our friends, and said "This must be the 'old' table". - Since Mia and baby Wyatt Ormiston were at our table (the only 2 babies at the event), he assumed our table must be the oldest. Which-yes- was probably correct... but, man, I'm not really ready to be at the "old" table. And I'm really not ready for our very jovial Bishop to use "old" as the adjective to describe us. Bleck. I used to be one of the Daisy Girls to the Bishop... and now I'm one of the older young adults?! It's only been 2 years!!! I don't want to be an old young adult yet. But I suppose I have to get there some time.
Thirdly, in my not-so-excited-to-answer-the-phone attitude yesterday evening, I missed a call from my beautiful former roommate Kimmy!!!! And her phone calls are so few and far between now that she's at the convent, that I was quite unsettled by missing it. Sniff Sniff. Hopefully she tries again soon cuz I miss her!! Perhaps God was teaching me a lesson about not answering my phone.
Lastly - the HEROES premier is tonight!!!!! Yeay for its return!!!!
Homemade babyfood is delightful!!
Amelia Grace crawled today.
She crawled into the bedroom.
She crawled to get her toys.
She crawled to touch some things that are not for baby's play.
She crawled into the kitchen.
She crawled to her mommy.
She crawled to her daddy when he got home from work.
She crawled and crawled and crawled.
My little girl is growing up.
What a bittersweet day for her mommy.
Okay… so this whole being married with a baby thing is like WAY different than the whole not being married without a baby thing. I get the feeling these days that life is sort of leaving me behind. Do you know I haven’t been out to Karaoke since about 3 weeks before the wedding?! And parties with our single friends just aren
’t as fun when we’ve
got to worry about a baby who either is up late cuz
we’re at a party or crying at a sitter’s home cuz
we’re not with her.
In the last year whenever I’ve
asked Andrew what he misses most about not being single, his answer was always “My independence.” I never really understood that answer because I liked being with he and Mia all the time. But I don’t think he really means it like that. I think he means his freedom… and I think I’m starting to understand that a little bit.
It’s hard not being able to go out on a Friday night with friends because we’ve
got a baby at home. (Or in my case, because I’ve
got a husband who hates bars AND a baby at home.) It’s tough to be on a budget and not be able to just go out and buy some new clothes, or get the baby a new toy, or shop because I’m pissed at the world. It’s not always fun to spend 8 hours a day without a car taking care of a baby and wishing upon all wishes that Andrew will get off work a little early so I’ll have a adult to hang out with. Sometimes I’d like to just take a road trip on the weekend on a whim, but then the daunting task of packing all of Mia’s stuff just makes it not even seem worth it. There’s lots of hard stuff that comes along with this new stage.
But I know it’s a trade off. I mean I really do love being married to Andrew. He balances me so well and teaches me every day that I’m just a little too nutso
about some things. Daydreaming about him still makes me smile and he’s a great daddy. And I adore being a mommy. Mia is the cutest baby I’ve
ever seen and the love I have for her is incomparable to anything else. And it’s not like we don’t have any fun as a little family… it’s just a different kind of fun… and a more frugal type of fun. There’s lots of benefits to this whole marriage thing: I mean I love that when life just seems to suck, I know I’ll always have Andrew’s hugs to make me feel better and Mia’s smile to brighten up my day. And watching Mia grow and learn is something I wouldn
’t trade for anything. It’s neat to grow a person. Those are some of the beautiful things about this transition.
I guess the long and short of it is that when you join your life with someone else’s, there’s always going to be some major changes that happen… and when you make a baby after joining, the changes just multiply exponentially. I’m just trying to figure out my new place in the world. It used to be hanging out with all of my great single and dating friends and having fabulous fellowship and discussions, but it seems that’s not where God wants me these days. At least not for my main focus. So what is my job now beyond mommyhood
? Where does God want me to focus my energy? Do I even have energy left to focus on something else? Hmm
… all interesting thoughts to ponder. And I guess I’ll leave it at that.