Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Karma Chameleon



I think I'm a Chameleon.

I've been sitting at a sort of a low over the past few days. Of course the ups have still been there because life overall is still grand... but in comparison to the last few months, I am currently sitting at a rather "down" mood swing.

In times like these I find myself pondering things. Sometimes it's stuff about my life. Sometimes it's stuff about daily happenings. Sometimes it's stuff about the world in general.

For example, last week I got into a conversation about politics and religion. By the end of the discussion I was crying... and I mean seriously crying... about how sad the world is. And about how many bad things are happening that I can't seem to do anything about.

Then today on my drive home I was thinking about some stuff that my friends have talked to me about lately. It seems I've been "different" lately. So I started to think that I'm sort of like a Chameleon. I tend to adapt to the life situations that I get myself into. And though I'm always Kristi. I am sometimes a different shade of Kristi. And I think it's very rare that I ever get to be all of the shades of me at one time.

Honestly, it may be that few people actually know the Kristi who is all of the shades. Not that most of my friends haven't seen glimpses of all of them... but Colorful Kristi only exists when she doesn't feel compelled to be something that others need or want her to be. And since I like to not stand out too much, I tend to just adapt to the people and situations that I'm surrounded by.

So maybe that's why I'm "different" lately. I think I'm getting sick of adapting. I'm getting really tired of changing for others, and I'm ready to finally just be myself. Mostly I'm just too darn tired after 50 hours of work to worry too much about what others are thinking... and I actually think this is a good thing. It's another phase of maturity and I'm happy to enter it. I just hope that Colorful Kristi isn't too much for everyone who perhaps thought they knew all my colors.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Ain't Love Grand?

L is for the way you Look at me.
O is for the only One I see.
V is very Very extraordinary.
E is Even more than anyone you can adore.

Hi everyone! It's been a really long time. In my usual blogtastic mode, I will apologize for my lack of updates lately. I'm happy to see that most of you are still commenting like mad cows despite having hardly any controversy to comment about. Props to you!

So the reason for my less-than-frequent blogs in the last few months is probably pretty obvious by now. I am slightly occupied with other things... you know... like not being single anymore. In fact... part of the reason that this blog is becoming more or less obsolete has to do with it's name being "Delightful Delirium." Because although things are still QUITE delightful, I'm no longer so very delirious about the direction my life will take. In the words of the great Jimmy Cliff "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone."

There's been a lot of interesting comments on the status of Andrew and I, and I've even posted a few things about us though I've been mostly vague. But I'm officially ready to let you in the loop. Because the loop, my friends, is an excellent place to be.

I, Kristine Ann, am completely and utterly in love with Andrew Christopher. I've never in my life experienced anything like the bond I have with him. There's really no explanation for it. What's happening in my life right now can only be from God. It's as though "that guy" that I've been dreaming about all my life has finally shown up at my door... and it turns out that my dreams were nothing compared to what he actually is. I really think that back in 1980, God created two little babies who were destined for eachother... we just didn't know it for 24 years.

So what are you thinking? "Ewww... mushy stuff," or "Kristi is nuts. She's gone off the deepend," or "She's gonna get her heart broken again," or some other such statement full of skepticism? I promise that if you knew what was going on in my heart and soul... and in his too... all those worries would just float away.

I've decided that the world doesn't always know the right way to do things. Sure, Andrew and I COULD date for another 6 months before we ever said "I love you." Sure... we COULD decide to wait 2 or 3 years before marriage ever even enters discussion... we COULD do a lot of things that the world says is "smart." But we aren't really "normal" people and following "normal" trends is not our style. We know without a doubt that God brought us together 3 months ago. We pretty much knew that on our first date. And we are trusting Him enough to let us know if we're getting His message the wrong way.

Everyone has always said to me that when you find "the one", you'll know. I now know that it's true. This weird peace has come over me and it's nothing I can really explain. This peace proves to me that soulmates actually exist. Because my soul is more at peace with Andrew around than it has ever been before. I'm not worried about rushing into anything. I'm not worried about getting my heart broken. I'm not worried at all. He is a piece of my life's puzzle that I didn't even know existed, and without that piece, my life would never be complete.

So we've come full circle... you're in the loop at least a little now. Don't worry blog readers, I have not finished with my blog... it's just beginning to take a new direction. Perhaps with the summer's theme I will introduce a new format and name to Delightful as well. You know... something like "Wacky Wedding Planning" or "Being Brideful" or some other such thing. Who knows what's to come in the next few months. But I'll keep you in the loop as much as I can.

Love and Hugs!
The Keekster

Sunday, May 01, 2005

And so it begins...

Last night I attended the first of the gabillion weddings that I've got to go to this summer. If you recall from last summer, I had only two weddings to attend, and the first one was... well... read this for more info.

This year's first wedding was not nearly so dramatic and awful. Well... there was some drama... but that had nothing to do with the fact that it was a wedding.

I figure I must have finally hit that age when all of my friends are getting hitched. Three of my best friends from high school are getting married this summer. On top of that I've got three college friends getting married, three post college friends and my brother & Kimmy B. It's going to be a crazy ride. (I best be finding me some darn comfy dancing shoes I think).

It's so bizarre to me that I'm old enough to be at this age. Like, I'm pretty sure that for the last 5 years, I've lived with the belief that I was still around 17. I wasn't too concerned about getting married... or having a serious job... or being a true adult. I mean... I've been doing all the mature stuff and being an adult without really thinking about it too hard.

But it's starting to hit that I'm actually old enough to start thinking about it. I could actually HAVE a family. I could like have my own children in 2 years or less if I wanted to. That's nuts. I could be a MOM. Kristi as a mom?? Yea... I know... sounds kinda bizarre, huh? And I think it's all very exciting and fun, but even more than that, i'm sorta baffled by how much talking and planning and thinking one has to do to prepare themselves for this time of life.

I've always sort of felt that life goes in stages. Like there a LOT of changes that happen between 13&15, then 15&18, then 18&21... and then 21&25. And so on and so forth. I'm totally diggin this 21-25 stage, but I'm baffled at how much I've changed in even just the last year. You can even see the developments from reading my blog. I've gone from a lovesick crushfiend to well... whatever it is I am now (but it's definitely NOT that girl.) It's really awesome to not be that girl anymore, by the way.

Right... so I'm not exactly sure this post has a point. So I'm just gonna end it right here. But if it invokes any thoughts in you... please feel free to share.