Meeting someone... talking to him or her... asking him/her out... dating... figuring out if said person is "the one". All of these are difficult tasks. As the internet has become more and more accessible in the past decade, many people have turned to the web to meet their match.
Perhaps there is a stigma attached to meeting people on the internet. Most skeptics ask questions like "How do you REALLY know who the person on the other end of the modem is?" "What if they're JUST pretending to be a young man/woman but really they're something very different?" "Maybe you're talking to a psycho killer."
Yes... all valid points... and ones to be cognizant of if you decide to embark into the world of internet courtship. (Well.. it isn't EXACTLY courtship as much as turning to the net to meet new people.) However, I contend that you will find a commonality in many of the profiles on dating sites. Most will say something like "I am just tired of trying to meet my match at the bars." or "I'm sick of the games." There are people out there BEYOND the psycho killers who have just given up on traditional ways of meeting nice people. They see the web as a "safety net" that sort of allows them to weed out the bad from the good before they ever even SPEAK to said person.
The question I pose to you today is... WHAT DO YOU THINK? Do you have an opinion on the matter? Can the internet be a valid and safe place to meet a significant other? Have you ever met someone in real life that you first met online? How did it go?
I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
Have you ever for one second just sat down and thought about the human act of kissing? I mean seriously... doesn't it seem just a little bit gross that we enjoy putting our mouth on someone else's mouth and sucking?
It seems like a strange custom that we were built for in some way. And it sorta grosses me out. It serves no real functional purpose... I mean in the same way as say like sex (which can create other human beings) or eating (which keeps us alive.) Sure kissing is the human way of expressing feelings for another person... but there are a ton of ways we could do that without swapping digestive track fluid. (ew.. that sounds way gross huh?)
Don't get me wrong--kissing is super fun and great--but if ya just sit back and ponder what you're actually doing, it's a wee bit disgusting I think. I wonder if there are like some aliens out there monitoring us saying "These beings have a strange way of pressing their lips together in order to say hello, goodbye, 'I love/like you' or 'let's get it on.' There seem to be many forms of this action ranging from very small peck-like motions to using their tongues or even teeth on occasion."
Tee hee. Kissing is funny. And no, I have no reason for posting about kissing other than it seems like a pretty fun topic to discuss. Merry Christmas Eve Eve.
Ahhh... I think 23 is going to ROCK
So this is me getting surprised by 3 awesome guys who attended my birthday celebration on Saturday. (That's Ben off to the side... he's an awesome guy too.. but he's married and thus chose not to kiss me.) To my right is Lucas, my roomie's boyfriend. Behind me is Jan, a grand friend from KU who drove down to Wichita to party with us, and to my left is Ryan, the "upstairs boy." I got kissed by Ryan! :) Hee hee hee... that makes me giddy.
For more pictures of my fabulous birthday celebration check out my photo site by following this link: Kiki's Photos
Thanks a gazillion to all of you who made it. It was a complete blast. You guys are wonderful! I love my friends so much. If Saturday night was any indication, the year of being 23 is going to be an absolutely AWESOME time.
The Winter Of Love
This is probably the last post I'll get in before I'm 23. Is it just me or does "23" seem like a TON older than "22"? Weird.
What to blog about today?
It just struck me that this, my 22nd year of life, has been the first FULL year since I was 17 that I have not had even one significant other. It's not to say that I didn't try to nab a boyfriend or two, but things just didn't go my way this year. It is strange reflecting on the whole thing... the year has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I crushed, then I thought I wasn't supposed to date, then I crushed again, then I got disheartened that my crushes always are crushing on someone else and gave up, then I crushed, then I thought I wasn't supposed to date, then I crushed, then I thought dating and relationships were stupid, crush, realizing that crushing on friends' crushes is dumb, crush, bitterness, crush, comfortableness with singlehood, crush, disheartenedness, crush, and so on and so forth.
And no.. I didn't crush on like 17 different guys. Probably only 3 serious crushes occurred in this time period. They were just very recurring.
But then the winter came along...
I began developing a theory sometime in October that this winter would be "The Winter of Love." Thus far it has proved fairly lucrative for most of my friends. One is officially coupled, two or three are taking giant strides towards dating certain people, and many others seem to be quite starry-eyed lately.
A month ago I would have imagined that by this point I would be a part of this winter as well... but as of yet, I am not (well beyond the starry-eyedness of course). Being single really is not so bad. I mean... you have all this freedom to go wherever and do whatever and flirt non stop with whomever you please. I think the times when being single is the worst is when all of your friends are dating, and you're left to witness their happiness and giddiness and coupledom without being able to experience those kind of feelings yourself.
Anyways... perhaps 23 will bring me the LOVE of my life. Perhaps 23 will bring me a future husband. Perhaps 23 will send me on another rollercoaster of indifference and excitedness towards dating. Perhaps 23 will show me that my vocation has nothing to do with a human significant other anyways.
Whatever the case may be, I look forward to it.
I would like to wish you all a LOVELY and VERY FUN weekend. And a very happy WINTER OF LOVE.
If you need some good reading material...
I don't know how many of you actually follow the "blogs that I read" links, but I have a new favorite. It is Hyperemisis Gravidarum. It is absolutely wonderful. The woman who writes it (her name is Ashli) is struggling with a debiltating disease that makes her sick for most of her pregnancy. She's an amazing writer and a wonderfully strong person. Please follow the link and read about her life.
Also... if you want to know her background, check out this page... Silent Night
.... It's very powerful.
A reflection on my 22nd year
With only 3 days left until my 23rd birthday, I thought I might write my top 20 memories of being 22. In one of my next blogs, I plan on siting the top 10 things to accomplish while I'm 23. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
What I'll remember most about being 22: (In no particular order)
1) All of the religious discussions with neighbors, brothers, the Navy Seal that I met, with friends, with coworkers, and with my boss
2) Play and Pray weekend at the Lake of the Ozarks
3) Graduating from KU and wearing a St. Lawrence stole down the hill. Also having to say goodbye to all of my friends especially Sister V when I moved to Wichita
4) Big E, the Chalet, and doing the 1985 robotic dance with my brother at the bar table
5) Kimmy B, my stable karaoke partner who motivates me to be a little crazier than I normally would be
6) Acquiring the COOLEST and most attractive neighbors a 22 year old girl could possibly ask for and having many a fun adventure with them
7) Becoming friends with and getting to know Lizzer
8) Crushing on the future seminarian
9) Moving in with Kimmy who I just love to pieces
10) Crying the entire weekend of KCCSC 2003 because Fr. Brian and the future seminarian had me thinking TOOOO much about being a nun
11) IHOP nights with Val
12) The 14 days of celebration and realizing that I just absolutely LOVE my little Ray Ray of Sunshine (especially when we're both spazzing out about boys - which is frequently)
13) Singing country songs in the parking lot of SAMS with my Mom while my Dad just shook his head at how weird we are.
14) Living with my brother and his roommate for 3 months and getting to see the development of Dan & Stephanie's relationship.
15) The most awesome bible study ever
16) Staying up til 4 in the morning on Thanksgiving talking to my brother about deep stuff.
17) Building a WONDERFUL friendship with Lucas who has helped me realize that if I have guy friends like him, I actually COULD probably handle being a sister
18) Taking pictures with Natey B all over campus the night before graduation, including on the 50 yard line of the football field.
19) Getting my first real job ever, even if I do think it sucks sometimes
20) Camping out at my parents' house with all of my awesome college friends.
Settled Obsession, Massive Confusion
Although, it was not nearly as blatantly as I planned, I have discussed and settled the issues with the boy upstairs. I spent much of the weekend with him. Without being too horribly forward, but I think still getting my point across sufficiently, I have discovered that he just does not want to date at this point in his life. So I think I’m done obsessing. I still think he’s a pretty cool guy… and if something could possibly happen in the future, then great! But I’m done worrying about it. And we’re just cool and friends and it’s all good. It’s a great relief.
**In other news**
Because I spent so much time with him, and because he spends so much time thinking… the boy upstairs has convinced me that I am lost in my life. He says I am of the age where I have “the world by the balls” and I should be taking advantage of all the opportunities I have. I have no clue where I’m supposed to go or what I’m supposed to do, but Ryan says that staying settled in a job I dislike is not the answer. It’s very strange to me how I can be so happy and giddy about life no matter what parts of it are a little no fun, until I start talking to boy upstairs… and suddenly everything seems to suck and be very confusing. Strange. And even stranger that I LIKE this guy so much.
Obsession by Kristine Ann
Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
Defined in my own terms the definition might say something like this:
Compulsive preoccupation with the stupid boy upstairs and my unwanted feelings and emotions towards him that make me unable to sleep soundly or focus my thoughts on anything other than what he might be thinking.
It is a disease. And it is driving me crazy.
I feel as though I am receiving extremely mixed signals from him, and said signals are keeping me from taking that next step of asking him to go to a movie sometime. Opinions of my friends on his actions toward me lately have ranged from “He totally knows you like him, and he’s trying to get you to take the next step,” to “He must know you like him and he’s maybe just messing with you,” to “Maybe he’s just seriously dumbfounded and has no clue what you’re thinking.” But most people doubt that third one.
So in all likelihood, he at least has some small idea that I have feelings for him beyond our friendship. But he is making no definite moves to let me know this. And this could be because he doesn’t really want to date me or maybe he doesn’t want to date anyone or maybe he just is trying to bring the “forward” Kristi out, cuz he has this weird way of constantly telling me how I could do things differently… or perhaps more efficiently. But nothing he says is direct and I am SOOOOOO sick of thinking about this ALL the time.
Perhaps by Monday I will have just come out and confessed my feelings to him. I will let you know how it goes.
**Side Note** Today a friend pointed out that to know where upstairs boy was in his apartment, we would need a "stud finder"... buddies.. it cracks me up!!!**
And so Mass Media supports Strata Theory
A few weeks ago, I blogged about the new reality series “Average Joe.” In the show, producers had one gorgeous ex cheerleader pick from 20 average looking guys. About mid season, the producers threw three very good-looking guys into the mix to see how Malena would react. Well, by the end, she had cut her choices down to 2 men… one hot and one average joe.
The producers let us know during the second-to-last episode that although Adam may have looked “average”, he was ANYTHING but that. He was 27 years old, owned his own business, and was already a millionaire. He was sweet, accepting, and very much smitten for Malena.
The producers did not tell us much about the “hot” guy. We knew that he was a bit younger, still in college and really had not much idea what he wanted to do with his life. But, OH, that smile was just GORGEOUS. (spew, retch, puke)
Malena chose the hot guy. She said it was a difficult decision. She never truly explained why she decided that hot boy was her choice over Adam. I’d be willing to bet that she could more easily picture having sex with the hot one than she could with Adam. This could be a mistaken perception… but she and the one she picked got to fly off to an island resort to celebrate her choice, and I’m quite sure some more shenanigans went on there than did on the actual TV show.
For the record, there is nothing wrong with Malena picking the hot guy. If she felt more of a connection with him (even if that was based on attraction), then she made the correct choice for her. But I think the whole show just provides an excellent example of how the Strata theory works. No matter how beautiful or ugly the insides of a person may be, we tend to couple up based on outward appearances.
**Side Note** I have published more pictures on my photo site. The "neighbors" album is much more recent and complete. And on a side note of my side note... things are taking an interesting turn with the neighbor upstairs. I shall update you as information becomes available. :)
Quick Update de mi vida
Just to keep you in the loop, I've got a few updates of my so called life.
1) My boss offered me my job back (I haven't quite figured out why yet... but I'm not too concerned because at least I have an income.)
2) I have 12 hours and 25ish minutes to complete a triple dog dare to kiss the very attractive boy who lives upstairs.
3) Very cute neighbor's roommate is moving today :(. It makes me sad cuz I will miss him lots, but he got a job in Missouri, so I shall visit often.
4) My birthday is only 15 days away. Isn't that neato burrito??
5) I am very quickly running out of fun things to blog about, so your suggestions would be much appreciated. I would rather not turn this blog into a blatant diary of my life if I can at all avoid such a thing.
Adios por ahora. Hasta la vista! Anyone want to Karaoke one of these weekends real soon?
Defining the Relationship
An interesting point of view concerning why I put so much pressure on defining a relationship was brought to my attention over Thanksgiving. It has caused me to ponder... and therefore blog... on what the significance of defining a relationship really is.
Let's examine: In a lot of pre-dating relationships (meaning those that start out as friendships), you already spend lots of time together. You laugh with eachother and cry with each other, you watch movies, eat dinner, call each other up, hang out when you're bored, and just have a good time. Nothing is wrong with this type of relationship. It's a very good place to be in... then WHY do humans so often want to push to "define" it as dating.
For one, in previously described situation, neither partner is SURE how the other one feels. Maybe one of them is so totally "friend" focused that dating hasn't even crossed his or her mind. Maybe dating has crossed the mind only to be pushed aside as a ridiculous proposition. Without a definition, this couple remains in limbo wandering about the other person's true feelings.
But beyond that... if they are both having fun, then why define it?
1) You gain reassurance that you won't lose each other to another person.
2) You know for sure that you've got someone to run to after a bad day because you rank high on their list of priorities as a significant other.
3) Defining a relationship as "dating" adds a whole new level of comfort to how you act and what you say around eachother.
These are just 3 very basic reasons for defining. I realize that I have not addressed the very fact that you could LOSE your friendship in trying to define it as something more... but that was not the focus. I was merely trying to point out why sometimes it just isn't enough "to have fun and be friends." Sometimes you reach a point like the country song says when you "can't be just friends anymore."
How was YOUR thanksgiving?
"Fine." "I ate lots of turkey." "I chilled with the family." "It sucked." "I got sick." "I got in a car accident." "I played cards." etc, etc, etc.
Be thar a reason to ask such a question? Me think not.
ARRRRR.. first day with me hook!