Long time...

Wow, readers (if any of you are still left), I realized this week that it's been an incredibly long time since I posted about anything other than providing links to other people's thoughts or showing off my cute kiddos. And for that reason, I shall provide a small update into the life of Kristi.

1) In January I found out that I have bizarre-ly high cholesterol for a woman of my age. Online research told me that this could be due to my just having completed my second pregnancy, however, I have made some substantial life-changes since finding it out. These have included 30 minutes of exercise at least 5 times a week (on most weeks), purging the apartment of nearly ALL junk food, and cutting most cheeses, meats and dairy out of my diet. Also we're eating all kinds of heart-healthy foods like veggies and whole grains and soy milk and fish. My vegetarian husband is loving my new diet because we make tastey veggie-friendly stuff a lot. And I'm loving the new diet because since January 12th, I've lost 14 pounds, which means I'm starting to fit into clothes that I haven't fit into since before I was pregnant with Mia and that's really really AWESOME! My goal is to lose another 10-15 pounds before my next cholesterol check in June, and my overall goal is to lose at least another 15-20on top of that... but I'm giving myself until the end of the year to get there because I hear it's gets harder to lose the smaller you get.

2) Related to the whole cholesterol thing, my self-diagnosed hypochondria (which I've had for as long as I remember) is in full gear and probably as bad as it's ever been right now. I've been pretty sure I was having a heart attack on at least 2 occasions since my diagnosis of high cholest, and I've got all kinds of weird anxiety symptoms on top of that- chest tightness, heart palpitations, breath hunger, chills, etc. So most of the time I'm pretty convinced I have lung cancer, a brain tumor or some other such scary thing. It sucks royally to believe I'm dying every other day and my doc told me that if it gets too bad, we may want to consider putting me on some anti-anxiety drugs. I've decided that if I just trusted God more, I wouldn't be so anxious, but I've had quite a few friends remind me that if I've got misfiring neurons in my head, I might actually require drugs to fix it. Then EGD said it could all be related to postpartum depression (which apparently doesn't always manifest itself as sadness and can totally be anxiety), so now I'm just kinda hoping it will go away when my hormones get back into order. And her PPD diagnosis makes some sense because I remember being extra hyperchondria-y after Mia was born, too. Anyhoo... I'm working on the anxiety and trying to assure myself that I'm not actually seriously ill even though I believe I am.

3) In related news (to the PPD), my little Vince is almost 5 months old and Mia has crossed the point from baby girl to big girl!!! It's nuts how fast they're getting older. Vince will be sitting up on his own in probably the next 2 weeks. Mia sings about everything and likes to walk everywhere without holding hands. She also frequently requests to drive when we get in the car, but Andrew and I have decided that she's a little too small for that yet. ;) Here's a look at how big they're getting...



Well that's my update for now. It's been awhile since I've let you all into my head and life as much as this... maybe that's where the anxiety is coming from... I'm not using my blog as a therapy tool anymore. Frankly, I've just run out of time. It seems if I'm not changing a diaper or feeding or playing with one of the kids, I'm either exercising or working from home (or sometimes checking Facebook, of course). There's not a lot of time to just sit down and write blogs anymore. Though I do miss it!

Go Jayhawks!

My future Jayhawk basketball player would like to say "Goooooo Jayhawks!!

Also... this is unrelated... but this is what Mia looked like at 5 months. Same kid? Freaky.

Ugh

Obama Stem Cell Article

Spicing it up a bit.

Obama’s New Radical Stem Cell Policy

This just in from the White House: starting today, only farmers set agriculture subsidy levels, generals decide about going to war and the new all-powerful Czar of Tax Policy is our old friend, the IRS.

Americans would be rightly appalled and indignant if the above scenario came to pass. Yet we nod our heads like sheep in a herd when President Obama offers the same rationale in signing an executive order forcing taxpayers to fund embryonic stem cell research.

“Promoting science isn’t just about providing resources,” intoned Obama during a photo op with a carefully screened audience of researchers, “…it is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion…it is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology.”

Unfortunately, a shameless distortion of scientific facts combined with over-the-top ideology is driving Obama’s political gesticulation. Let’s step back from the fringe and examine reality.

Embryonic stem cell research (ESCR) always involves the manipulation and destruction of live human embryos, the so-called “unwanted leftovers” resulting from assisted reproductive technology procedures like IVF. If adopted and/or implanted into a woman, these same embryos—we are all former embryos—grow, are born and mature into adults.

Despite the breathless hype, not one condition or injury has ever been cured with ESCR, and even proponents admit cures are decades away—if they happen at all. In fact, the goal of the only FDA-approved ESCR study is to not cause more damage to spinal cord injury patients targeted for research. Hope for cures indeed.

Obama also denounced human cloning, but only (and this is important) for reproductive purposes. Apparently, cloning human life for the sole purpose of destroying it in costly, unproven experiments is okay.

White House handlers conveniently concealed the fact that there’s a new, easier and more cost-effective way to produce embryonic-like stem cells without creating or destroying human lives. There’s no mention of the other kind of stem cell—adult stem cells—those microscopic building blocks found in every person now being used to help tens of thousands of patients suffering from dozens of diseases and conditions. In short, there are far less expensive, far more effective and humane alternatives to embryo-destructive research.

As the father of a son with severe disabilities, no one hopes for cures more than me. But ESCR hope is empty, cruel and barbaric, destined for the trash heap of medicine. Farmers don’t set Ag policy; soldiers don’t decide when to take up arms and IRS accountants work for us, not the other way around. Why let scientists set public policy? None of this makes sense, unless you follow the money. Obama is all-too-willing to hand out blank checks and coerce American taxpayers to take part in unethical and expensive experiments to nowhere that we will all pay dearly for, in dollars, cents and human lives.

Chuck Weber is Executive Director of SaintMax Worldwide (www.saintmaxworldwide.org), a Kansas-based non-profit communications group specializing in bioethics.

Anniversary...

Tomorrow marks 4 years since Andrew's and my first date. It seems every year around this time I begin remeniscing about the beginnings of our relationship. On top of that, Mia has suddenly taken a liking to watching parts of our wedding video (repeatedly)... so I've been surrounded by memories quite constantly.

So to my wonderful husband on our 4th anniversary of dating... I just want to tell you how happy I still am that you decided to offer to me that extra Shocker Basketball game ticket (even though we sort of had a chaperone - Hi Don!) and to take me to dinner at Il Vicino before (even though I accidentally ordered a salad that had anchovies on it (eeeyuck)!! You're still the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you more each day.

Also... I thought this an appropriate occasion to post another one of my fav wedding speeches. Here's Marianna talking about the beginnings of our relationship. I think the night in particular that she's talking about happened about 1 week before our first date.

Mia turned 2!!

My baby girl turned 2 yesterday... so I thought I'd post some pics of her over the last two years. I can't believe she's 2 already!!!

Dear Me.

If I knew three years ago what I was getting myself into, would I still have married Andrew and become pregnant right away? The short answer is "yes". But the long answer follows below...

Dear Kristi of 4 years ago,

You are about to go through four of the craziest years of your life. Right now you have a feeling that something "big" is going to happen in your life soon, but, believe me-the future you- you have NO concept of how BIG it will be. You're about to meet the man of your dreams, become engaged, married, pregnant, a mommy, pregnant again, and a mommy again... and that's all before 2009. Doesn't it sound exciting? I promise that it will be. But I'm writing to you to tell you that you only have about 15 months of being unmarried left, and you need to take full advantage of it.

Right now you have a vague concept of what marriage will be like. You envision the joy and comfort of having a husband. You think that being a mommy will be awesome. You get goosebumps thinking about how someday all of that might happen to you. But even in the midst of your daydreaming, you MUST take advantage of these last few months of singlehood. I'm going to share with you the things that you don't realize come along with marriage and parenthood. They aren't bad things... but they're much bigger things than you've before considered.

Most importantly, you need to know that life will never again be about only you. You probably don't feel like it is right now, but it is more than it will ever be again. In the first month of your marriage, it will be about your spouse AND you, then it will be about your in-utero baby, your spouse and you, and eventually it will be about your kids, your spouse and you. But never ever again just "you".

Right now you can volunteer for whatever you want... and you can also stop volunteering. You can work whatever job you want... and you can also stop working certain jobs. You can pray whenever you want... go out with your friends whenever you want... relocate whenever you want... shop whenever you want... eat whenever you want... travel whenever you want. You can spend as much or as little time as you want with friends and family. In fact you can do and stop doing almost everything you're involved in right now based on how you alone feel and what you alone need. You are, for the most part, 100% in charge of what you do. You're never going to have that freedom again... and it's not a bad thing... but it is a reality that you don't see right now. Your husband and your children will soon take priority over everything else in your life (other than God... but even your relationship with Him will struggle as you learn to adjust to your new life.)

I'm not telling you this to scare you or worry you. I'm only telling you this because I want you to take full advantage of your last few months of having only YOU to focus on. And the reason I'm writing this to you now is because of what happened to me (the future you) a few nights ago. I had a veritable Mommy-breakdown over dinner. Your oldest kiddo was done with dinner and needed to be cleaned up... your youngest kiddo insisted upon being held and nursed... and your husband had been at work all day so it didn't feel completely right asking for his help. All you really wanted to do was finish your own dinner, but after 20 minutes of attempting that, you just about gave up. You got frustrated with your husband, angry at your oldest, and took your youngest to have a diaper change. In the midst of it all you yelled a bit, cried a bit, and wished just a little bit that life was as simple as it had been 4 years ago.

It was at that point that I realized something more deeply than I had ever realized it before. I no longer had the choice to do or not do something based on my own feelings. My kids and my husband counted on me for certain things... and I was unable to say "no" even if I really wanted to. The option of being selfish no longer existed. The big stuff: I can't refuse a diaper change, or feeding my family, or going to work so someday we can afford a house. And the little stuff: I can't skip dinner, or go out with my friends on a whim, or lock myself in my room for a few moments of quiet. Nearly everything I do now has a direct effect on the well-being of my family... and my actions profoundly affect those around me more than they ever did when I was single. And I finally realized that I never thought about all of that stuff when I was where you are now.

But I would be remiss if in this letter I only told you about the harder things you're going to encounter. Because the next 4 years of your life are also going to be filled with more profound joy than you've ever experienced. Your wedding will be like a taste of the heavenly banquet. You'll feel so accomplished and empowered when you give birth to your beautiful children. You'll swell with pride as you watch them take their first steps, learn their first words, and become smarter and smarter each day. You'll thank God every moment for a husband who is so supportive and handsome and silly that he can even make you laugh in the midst of your tears. You'll feel blessed in ways you've never experienced and you won't regret one minute of choosing marriage as your vocation because you'll know it's where you're supposed to be.

So, Kristi of the past, I don't want you to fret or fear the changes to come, but I hope you take full advantage of the place you are in right now. Be happy... go out and have fun... and take a few moments just for you! Come May 6, 2006, your life will change forever.

Love you lots,
Kristi